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Success Codes

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It is like what a friend of mine said to his seven year old son when he came to him and wanted him to fix the fact that he was bored.  He was sitting around the house with no friends and did not like having nothing to do.

It is like what a friend of mine said to his seven year old son when he came to him and wanted him to fix the fact that he was bored.  He was sitting around the house with no friends and did not like having nothing to do.


So he told him, 'Daniel, you are responsible for your own fun.  So go find something to do that you enjoy.'  That is kind of what I was thinking in this situation when a joker had been handed to civil servants to join a bandwagon.  I was not thinking of what you should do.  But like my friend with his son, I was thinking, it is up to you to do something to still retain peace.
You are responsible for your own fun.  So I thought you should do something about that.  Mind you, what you do is a different question.  Your central problem perhaps, is that whenever anything is wrong in your life whether in a relationship with a friend, or at work, or in your social life, you always think that the solution to making it better is going to come from the outside, but, let me tell you, it must come from you.
Hear this; fun is not a bird that is going to land on your head.  A better relationship with your friend is not going to show up at your door through his initiative only. It must also come from you.  That is to say, fixing the next step in your career is not going to come in the mail, neither is the man of your dreams. It must come from your own additional inputs.
Friend, never expect that someone else is going to make the first move to create the solution to your problems.  And, if he does not, you stay stuck in the problem, resentful and wishing life was treating you better.  You sit there think he should do something because you believe that is what people who succeed do.  Listen, they do something instead of nothing.
When you think that I believe you should do something, you are right.  But I was not thinking about what you were to do at all.  I was just noticing that it is your move.  If it rains, you did not cause the rain, but it is your head that gets soaked if you do not come in out of the rain or open an umbrella.  So in a thunderstorm, are you going to just stand there, get wet, be miserable, and say, God caused this, so it is his problem?  He should make the first move?  I don't think.
Come, so it just did not occur to you that there might be something you should do to make the situation better, whether someone else does anything or not.  Now if you had asked what I was thinking, I would have told you that I was wondering how many times I would have to have this conversation.
The repetitive conversation had to continue until you did get it.  That is how important I believe this issue is.  It is one of the things successful people do in love and life.  Successful people are Déjà vu people.  They have a certain quality.
In addition to listening to their heart's desire, getting rid of negative stuff, and thinking of how the present will affect the future, they do something else.  They tend to call on themselves as the first source to correct difficult situations.
It does not matter whether they think they are to blame or not.  Even if someone else is at fault, they will ask themselves, what can I do to make things better?  The answer might be to call the other person and deal with the issue, or even to try to get him to take responsibility for his fault. 
Or the answer may be to call someone else for help.  It could be a number of things.  But whatever the answer, they make a move.  Let me ask you, are you driving your life, or just along for the ride?
There are many different ways to look at this principle of making your move.  For many years psychologists and philosophers have talked about related dynamics.  For example, you may have heard some people referred to as proactive.
That term usually refers to people who take positive, initiating steps in life as opposed to merely reacting to situations.  They do not see themselves as victims of people and circumstances but as active participants who take steps to influence outcomes.
If there is a problem in life, the world, or themselves, they do something to solve it.  If they want a situation to be better, they see themselves as part of the solution, or at least as a catalyst to get it going.
Another category that they most often fall into is responsibility.  This is not the kind of responsibility that you think of in terms of doing your duties.  We often think of being responsible as equivalent to taking out the trash or doing your work on time.  That kind of responsible means that we do what we are supposed to do or perform the task that is placed before us.
Responsibility here means much more than that.  It means that you and I are responsible not just for duties or jobs, but also for our entire existence.  For example, you are not only responsible for taking out the trash, for how you feel about taking out the trash, and for choosing not to do all the other things you could be doing instead of taking it out.
If you do not like taking out the trash, that is your problem, not the problem of whoever you think is making you do it.  If you agree to perform the task, then it is your responsibility.  Not your fault, maybe, but your responsibility.
To own your life means that it is yours and no other person's.  You can blame no one for what you do with it.  That is, you can blame them for what they do to you, but you cannot blame them for what you do with what they do to you.  You are responsible for how you respond.
You could blame someone for being bugged with what you did or said.  But you could not blame someone else for your own feeling of being bugged at the fact that you are bugged.  You have to own the fact that your feelings were your responsibility.  Those feelings are in your life, in your skin, in your soul, not in any one else.
This owning of your live is similar to owning other things.  If you own your car, then you are responsible for it, then you also control it.  It is yours and yours only.  You can paint it, you can put in a new engine, you can set it on fire, you can let it rust, or you can do whatever you want.  It is yours.  It is under your control.
People who own their lives would take control of their feelings and have a different experience than what normal people do.  How they respond to challenges is totally up to them.  Some would get angry and go yell all the way.
Others would go out and get the rest of others join them against what they see as the source of their weakness, seeking revenge and causing dissension.  Some would not be too affected by the experience and would feel pity for their selves.
Others would get on the phone and call.  They would seek to understand the roots of the breach and try to communicate a desire to reconcile and forgive.  Others would desire to be loving and mature, but find themselves unable to be anything but angry.
 On and on we could go with endless possibilities of both good and bad ways of handling the problem.  And the point is that there are a number of possible responses to handle the new civil service rules and obligations, and we are free to decide which direction to go.  But let us have the mindset of No blame, no victims, and unable, but responsible for our inability.  Know that winners take the cards they are dealt and play them well.
See you at the top of success.

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