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In this concluding article published last edition, consequences of “cash and carry marriage” will be highlighted and harmonized.

In this concluding article published last edition, consequences of “cash and carry marriage” will be highlighted and harmonized.

As time went by, some of these tenuous relationships could end in real cohabitation because, American Ladies like Nigerians because of their entrepreneurial capacity.
Unfortunately, such relationship when developed into real love could produce children and that is when the man is fully entrapped. However, by and large, every Igbo man likes to marry one from his tribal base because of the general cultural imperativeness that the Igbos believes in endogamous marriage. So, while trying to satisfy that economic urge, would still wants to marry an Igbo lady.
As we know it, Igbo ethnic tie to their families is very tight. It is in order to satisfy family pressure that our men who already have wives and families overseas come home to indulge in “cash and carry” marriage.
More often than not, these cash and carry suitors are mostly in their late 40s or early 50s. These have a lot of consequences and implications. Generally, by tradition, majority of Igbo men don't like to marry very early. Today, it is rarely to see a young man in his late 20s becoming a father. The problem is that since many Igbo girls are well educated and have penchant for already made homes, they would like to get married to one who has already established. And by prevailing circumstances and given the enterpreunual spirit of every Igbo man, suitors will be found among those in their late 30s or early 40s. This is one of the reasons why many of our young men takes time to get married and once they do this, and ladies grow fast and age fast too, the result is that they have more ladies of marriage floating around in an environment of scarce suitors.
The implication is that our ladies easily fall prey to cash and carry suitors from abroad and nobody but nobody can blame them to sacrificing age for future leisure and comfort.
These cash and carry suitors come home mostly during Christmas period. Once they target those equally circulating for marriage, all they need to do is change 1000 dollars which will give them currently between 420,000 and 450,000 naira. All they need to do is to rent a flashy car preferably jeep or sienna with one or two friends and go to their prospective in-laws. Although throughout Igbo world, marriage process requires a lot of haggling and negotiations. In places like Mbaise, Mbano, Ngwa, Okigwe Mbaitoli and Ikeduru ordinarily, it should take one, two or three visits for the first round of enquiry. But cash and carry suitors will simply ask their prospective fathers in law to give them the list of the requirements. Once this has been handed over, they will take a disdainful look at the list because no matter what the list contains only half of their 450,000 will be needed. Today, according to Igbo Tradition, dowry payment is not a matter of public discussion. It is a matter left between a suitor, his parent and the parents of the “would be” wife. Within one visit, every arrangement will be concluded and in all probability, the almighty “Igba Nkwu” ceremony will take place in a day or two. All the girls needs is to send word to her close friends and within overnight their dresses for the asoebi will be ready. In fact, in cash and carry type of marriage” Igba Nkwu Ceremony”, it is usually a lavished ceremony where naira and dollars of lower denominations will lie on the ground tumbling each other.
While local boys and girls will envy their friend who will soon leave them, “the would be” wife will be thinking of America because her entire psych will be “How soon do I get to America-her life dream.”
The same night, she will leave her parents and sibling behind sometimes with crocodile tears following her over aged husband. Once she gets to her new home, and having been received with open hands, the sorrowful aspect of her marriage begins when her husband will tell her in a midnight conversation” sweetie, I will leave you behind and go and prepare documents for your coming to America.” In her trembling and astonished voice, she will ask” How long will that be?” of course American are coated with sweet tongues which they have developed over the years because in America, unless you will know how to tell genuine lies you will be in soup because American are highly credulous, hence, foreigners not only Nigerians take advantage of that. In response, the man will tell her, “sooner than later.” As it often happens, their first contact the lady may be pregnant and the dumping begins and the man has reasons for prolong stay of the girl in Nigeria.
“It is very expensive to deliver a baby in America. Therefore, once you deliver, I will come home and take you and the new baby to US.” and before long, he will come home to deliver another pregnancy so on and so forth. The reason will be endless until nobody knows when.
Igbo girls should look well before they leap.

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